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--The Can opener wasn't invented until 48 years after the can.

--In the Dark Ages it was thought that when you sneezed, a brief opportunity for 'devils' to enter your mouth was present, thus explains the origins of 'bless you'.

--The average age at which Americas Presidents have taken up office is 54.

--Uncle Sam was an actual man, Samuel Wilson, born in Massachusetts supplied meat to the Army and Troy residents associated the 'U.S' on the barrels of soldier rations with 'Uncle Sam' who they knew was feeding the army.

--English sailors came to be called Limeys after using lime juice to combat scurvy.

--The Ramses brand of condoms is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II, who fathered more than 160 children.

--The oldest known recording of Nessie was in the 7th Century by Monk Adamnan.

--The youngest Pope was 11 years old.

--Tuesday is the most productive day of the working week. 

--The ZIP code means Zoning Improvement Plan.

--Months that start on a Sunday always have a Friday the 13th.

--Phasmopho bia is the fear of ghosts.

--In a recent survey, 68% of people admitted to fantasizing about somebody else whilst making love.

--Due to the contraction and expansion of metal, the Eiffel Tower's height varies by several inches, depending on temperature.

--Tulips originated in Turkey and were only exported to Holland in the 17th century.

--The average life expectancy of a toilet is 50 years.

--Australian bank notes are now made out of plastic. Paper money in the UK is made out of cotton and linen.

--The average person will spend around 2 weeks of their life waiting on traffic lights to change. --Petroleum accounts for nearly half the world's energy supply.

--London cabbies estimate that their average driving speed is just under 10 mph due to the ever increasing traffic congestion.

--Broken clocks are right at least twice a day.

--The average American will see or hear over 500 advertisements each day.

--America, it's estimated that around 4-5 million junk telephone calls are made daily (phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine).

Per capita, Canada has more dough nut shops than any other country.

--There are more TV sets in the UK (70 million+) than there are people (~60 million).

--In logging slang, a messy pile of logs is called a "jackpot".

--The average woman consumes 6 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.

--No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

--The typical pencil can draw a line 35 miles long.

--The word dreamt is the only word in the English language that ends in mt.

--More money is spent on gardening than on any other hobby.

--In Spain, Colgate faced a marketing problem with its toothpaste. Colgate - phonetically close to Cuelgate, which translates to "go hang yourself."

--In the 1940s, the Bich pen was changed to Bic for fear that Americans would pronounce it "bitch."

--Man is the only animal that cries.

  One morning around 5 am 22 year old Susan DeLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

   She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. 

   The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in.

   When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci's death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by police that two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive physical pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag.

   Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobsters' tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's vagina when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period.

   Doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Overnight the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes!!! You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

 If you wake up this morning with more health than illness,you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment,the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation -you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest,torture or death - you are more blessed than the 3 billion people in the world.If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes in your back, a roof over head and a place to sleep - you are richer than 75% of this world. If your parents are still alive and still married -you are very rare, even in the US and Canada.